A Fathers Love
by MyMerryMen
Summary: Cal has to watch his son struggling after a horrible incident and is torn between despair, pain and unconditional love. He wants to hunt down those who hurt the one person he has built his life around, but his hands are bound. All he can do is love the only way he knows how to love - with heart and soul - and hope it will be enough. A warming Father/Son story.


_**This is my answer to a challenge posted on Facebook by MomOfPhoenix. It's supposed to include 1. a Fidget Spinner, 2.**_ _ **"Find someone who will make you laugh in public, but scream in bed." and 3. "Keep your head high, and your middle finger higher." No story I write will ever feature a Fidget Spinner, but the rest I got covered. :)  
**_

 _ **This story isn't beta'ed. Any grammar faults or spelling errors are not to be considered flaws or defects but inhence the individual beauty.**_

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 **A Father's Love**

 **by**

 **MyMerryMen**

Cal stood over the sink at the kitchen window and desperately breathed against the pain choking him. Out on the steps of the front porch sat his son, his back hunched, his body posture screaming anguish and despair. Lord, how he wished the boy's mom would be there. She'd find the right words to comfort him, to give him courage and a healthy dose of fuck you. Like so often when he thought of her, Cal wanted to scream, wanted to put his fist through a wall. Anger rose in his veins. Anger that had no business in his life. It wasn't her fault that she had died giving birth. If anyone bore any blame, it was God. A year of grief therapy was meant to bring him peace, but he couldn't forgive Him for taking away the love of his life.

Not that he and his son had fared bad the past fifteen years. Looking back Cal could wholeheartedly say that he had given his best, had put his son above all else. His own mother had moved in with them the first year to help him cope and settle into fatherhood. Not a single day had passed that the guys at RangeMan hadn't been at his side, calm, supportive, always ready to take charge when things became overwhelming. Jaxon had grown into a wonderful young man, a son he was proud of. So proud that it often felt like his heart was bursting with pride. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't replace his mom. A boy needed a mother to find his place in life, to learn the female perspective of things, to give him all the hugs and cuddles he needed though Cal had made sure that he never slacked in the TLC department. Right now, Jax needed his mom like a lifeline, but she wasn't there and that pissed Cal off.

Sighing, he gathered up the vegetables he'd just cut and put them into the ready baking pan. Baked veggies with native olive oil, fresh herbs and spices – one of Jaxon's favorites.

"Hey Buds." He sat down on the steps next to his son and grimaced when his back and knees protested. Being fifty-four sucked. "Dinner will be ready in 40."

The silence greeting him bothered Cal. Jax was bubbly, just like his mom had been. He always had something to say or a smartass remark on his lips. Watching him out of the corner of his eyes, Cal's chest ached at the pain edged into his son's features. He wanted to go after the kids who had violated him, humiliated him, who had risked his life, but he couldn't. The police was involved and his hands were bound. All he could do was love Jax and be by his side throughout the aftermaths.

A quiet sob to his left brought Cal out of his thoughts. He quickly closed the gap between his son and himself, put his arm around Jax's shoulder and pulled him tight against his body.

"It hurts so much, Dad." Jaxon's voice quivered and Cal knew he was trying hard not to lose it.

"I know, man. I know. Just let go. I'm here. Always."

He didn't say anything else. Didn't know what. Instead, he held his son as his body was wracked by sobs, glad he taught him that crying was okay and by no means a sign of weakness. Jax was such a gentle soul, so soft-hearted. It was killing Cal to think that his innocence was taken from him forever.

A year ago Jaxon fell hard for one of the girls in his class. It was the beauty queen, who else, and of course she didn't deign a look at him. His boy pined after her, lost weight, his performance at school dropped off. It brought Cal to the verge of despair.

Jax was lanky, at the peak of the awkward stage. His hair was shoulder-length, he was all thumbs and most of the time he tripped over his own feet. None of the typical aggressive male sports took his fancy. Competition was an alien concept to him. There wasn't a single mean bone in his body. Instead he had the heart of his mom. A mile long and a mile wide. So big, it made him the perfect victim for being used and set up.

And that's exactly what those fuckers did.

After suffering for a whole year, Jaxon had scraped up all his courage and asked that little bitch out on a date. Everything was planned to the dot. First, dinner in a fancy restaurant, then something sophisticated. A famous West Coast theatre group was in town playing Shakespear's Midsummer Night's Dream and he had gotten hold of two tickets for the show and posh afterparty. Tia Ella had beamed and promised to organize a tailored tux. Jax had even asked his godfather, Ranger, to play chauffeur and take one of the pimped out black Hummers. His boy was determined to impress and all of RangeMan held their breath in face of his first date.

Why must things go so terribly wrong?

When Jax hadn't returned with the girl after forty minutes, Ranger went to the front door of the swanky mansion and rang the bell. He hated to interrupt, but they were on a schedule and when there was one thing he wanted, it was the night to be a full success for his godson.

The moment he realized that no one was going to open the door, a feeling of dread settled into Ranger's stomach. Making quick work of the locks, he followed the sound of laughter and hooting. What he found froze the blood in his veins. Jaxon was semi-conscious and stark-naked. Two guys of the football-player variety held him up while a bunch of girls took pictures and videos as another sucked him.

Cal was glad it had been Ranger at the scene because he knew he would have lost control. He would have charged at the kids raping his son and God knows what would have happened. The following twenty-six hours were the longest of his life. He sat at Jax' bedside, calmed him when he became agitated and held him through his hallucinations and panicked cries. The hospital found an overdose of alcohol and GHB in his blood, recovered three different saliva samples from his penis and semen of one person in his mouth.

It took the police three hours to round up the involved teenagers, all under the influence, but it was too late. The pictures and videos were already all over the internet.

Hearing, seeing and feeling the utter despair and shame of his son, Cal wanted to hunt the kids down and make them feel pain and humiliation. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. There'd be a trial and he told the lawyers to make those bastards bleed. No mercy. He wanted them to suffer, to be marked as sexual offenders for the rest of their life.

"Dad?" Jaxon's hoarse voice pulled him out of his revengeful thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"Does it make me a loser if I don't want to go back to school?"

Cal rubbed his cheek over Jax's curls and squeezed him reassuringly. He had given his son time, had talked to him about what happened and how to go forward and he had made sure Jaxon knew that whatever would happen, he'd be by his side. Two weeks had passed since that disastrous night. Two weeks of wondering what to do, how to move on.

"No, Buddy. Never. You need to do what is best for you. If a change of school is what you want, then we'll make it happen."

Silence descended once more as he felt his son nod against his neck.

After a few minutes, Jaxon pushed back and sat up. Cal watched him taking a few deep breaths and then rubbing impatiently had his wet cheeks. He was a copy of his mom. The crazy brown curls, the big, electric blue eyes, the stubbornness and resilience. God, how he missed Steph even after all these years. She would find the right words, would make their son feel better. And she would be on the warpath. No doubt he'd have to tie her to their marital bed and sit on her to keep her from going after those who hurt her baby.

"Hey, how about this," he said and waited until he had Jaxon's full attention. "It's still three months till end of term. I take you out of school and you come work for RangeMan. New scenery, new challenges, time to sort things out and get your head on straight. Then, coming September, you'll start fresh at a new school. New friends, a clean slate. You will probably have to repeat the grade, but who cares? Taking a break would give you time to heal. What do you think?"

Jaxon wiped over his nose and nodded. "I'd like that, Dad. Thank you."

"Nothing to thank me for, Buds. I'm here. Always. We'll get you through this, me and the uncles. It will change you. It will alter the way you look at things, the way you will make decisions, but you will come out the other side as winner. Stronger than ever before. I am fucking proud of you. Always have been, always will be. You are my Champ."

"No," Jaxon said quietly. "I'm a disappointment."

The utter defeat and resignation in Jax's voice gutted Cal.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Really, Dad? Just look at you. Even though you are old, you still turn heads and instill fear. You are strong, formidable, a total badass. I will never be like you. I'm weak, nonathletic, hate guns and conflicts of any kind. And now I let myself get… they…," Jaxon gave a sudden sob and gulped for air. "They raped me," he whispered. "What kind of man does allow that to happen? Only the weakest and most pathetic ones."

"Jax. Listen to me." Cal grabbed his son's chin and turned his head, making sure he had eye contact with him. "You were drugged. You had **no control** over what happened. I don't know how the alcohol and drugs got into your system, but I know for sure that you didn't take them voluntarily. Every single man at RangeMan would have been without a chance under these circumstances. Stop thinking that what happened was in any way your fault or is a proof of weakness. It's not. And it sure as hell doesn't make you a lesser man.

"If anything you are incredibly strong and resilient. Two weeks ago something horrible happened to you and here you are, moving on, thinking about solutions, ready to face your violaters to make sure they get what they deserve. That takes a hell of a lot of strength and courage. Forget how I look and what I do for a living. You are your own person and you have everything to grow into a great, amazing man."

Then Cal moved his hand to cup his son's face and rub his thump over his cheekbone.

"I look at you and I see your mom. You have so much of her that it hurts some days. And I don't just mean the crazy curls and blue eyes. You have her big heart, capable of never-ending love. Her innocence that sees the good in every person. Her strength and resilience when it comes to overcoming setbacks. Her smile that can light up the darkest mood. And you have this incredible gift of making people believe in themselves. These are all precious traits. Embrace them. Love yourself because you are a miracle. You are MY miracle. And you don't need to love guns or like violence to be a tough man. Your mom hated her gun with a passion and believe me when I say she was tough as nails."

Cal saw the indecisiveness in his son's eyes and it pained him to no end.

"Myyy Preeeccciiioouuussss," Cal mimicked the voice of Gollum.

Jaxon couldn't help but smile, his whole face lighting up. The Lord of the Rings was his all-time favorite.

"There you go," Cal said and grabbed his chest as though he had to prevent his heart from jumping out of his body.

"Tell me about her, Dad."

"Mom?"

"Yes. Every time you talk about her, your face softens and your eyes shine with love."

"Your mom was the most beautiful women I have ever met and not just because of her looks. Don't get me wrong. She was smoking hot. But her real beauty came from within. Everything I just listed made up her essence and so much more. When she entered a room, people stopped talking because they realized they were gifted with the presence of an angel. She was magic and the only regret I have in life is that I didn't make my move earlier. I waited so damn long because I was scared of rejection and when I finally got my head out of my ass, we only had a short time together."

"I'm sorry that I took her from you."

"Oh no, you didn't." Cal put his arm around his son's shoulder and pulled him close, pressing a kiss on top of his curls. "God took her from me and in return he gave me you. The most precious gift I have ever gotten. I love you. More than my life. And if I could turn back time, I'd do it all over again because I wouldn't want to miss a single day with you."

"If you had to describe mom in once sentence, what would you say?"

Cal thought for a moment and then grinned. " **She made me laugh in public, but scream in bed.** "

"DAD!" Jaxon pushed away from his father's embrace and brought some distance between them. "I don't want to hear about your sex life. That's disgusting."

"What sex life?" Cal laughed. "I don't have one. Besides how do you think you came into existence?"

Jaxon groaned, but said nothing. A few kids were playing football on the street and they sat next to each other in companionable silence and watched them.

"Dad? I have never seen you with a woman. Why? Why didn't you remarry? I know the ladies check you out. I'm not blind. You still have it. I would be okay with it, you know?"

Cal couldn't help but smile over his son's blessing.

"Not an option, Buds. Your mom… She was the one. I knew it the moment I saw her for the first time. Not everybody is lucky enough to meet the one person that completes them and makes them feel whole. It's something very, very precious. And if you find this person, all other women in the world lose their appeal. There would never have been someone as perfect for me as your mom. I would have settled for something less. And that would neither have been fair towards the woman, nor would it have been fair towards me. No. If you find true love, once is enough."

"Though I have never known her, I miss her."

"Me, too. Every day. With her the snow was always a little whiter, the sun a little warmer and the world a little better."

"Hey," Cal nudged his son with his shoulder. "How about a surprise? I wanted to wait till your birthday in two weeks, but I think now is as perfect as it will ever get."

He pushed himself up and walked back into the house just to return a minute later.

"Here." He sat back down and handed his son a white envelope. "Happy early birthday."

Cal watched with amusement as Jaxon tore open the envelope and eagerly surveyed the content.

"What? A trip to Europe?"

"Yes," Cal laughed as Jax threw himself into his arms. "Six weeks backpacking through Europe, just the two of us. It's all cleared with Ranger. We will start in Holland. There will be a big gardening exhibition in Amsterdam with workshops and what not. I thought you might like that. Then we will take it from there. Scandinavia, Italy, Greece, Croatia… whatever you like."

"Oh Dad. You are the best."

Cal could feel his son doing some deep breathing and squeezed him tightly. Just as Jax started to pull back, the alarm of the oven in the kitchen sounded.

"Saved by the bell." Cal clapped Jaxon on the back. "Come on, let's eat. You need to get some meat on your bones until we leave in three months. No way I'm dragging a carcass around with me."

It was late and Cal was sitting on the couch in the living room, a book in his left hand and cup of tea in his right, when the wooden stairwell creaked and Jaxon appeared. Setting the cup down on the coffee table, he took off his reading glasses and looked up.

"Is everything okay?"

Jax nodded quietly, came over and plopped down next to his father.

"Can't sleep?"

Another silent nod.

Putting the book and glasses on the table, Cal copied his son's sprawled posture and waited for him to start speaking.

"I don't know whether I can face them down in the courtroom, Dad. I know you think I'm strong, but I… I just don't know."

Once more, Cal pulled his son into his side and held him tight. It seemed he was doing that a lot lately and he didn't care one bit.

"You can and you will, Jax. Because letting them go unscathed is not an option. You will go into this trial with **your head high, and your middle finger higher.** No one fucks with the Calloways and gets away with it. We clear?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now go and make yourself a tea and sit with me for a while. Your earlier comment that I'm old bruised my ego. I need some TLC."

"Dad?"

"Hmmm?"

"I think you are right. It would be good to… you know… talk to someone."

Cal leaned his head down on top of Jax's and squeezed him lovingly.

"I'll set up an appointment. And now go. Shoo-shoo. Get yourself a tea and bring me a fresh one. You have some groveling to do."

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 _ **~ I hope you enjoyed this little story and leave some love on your way out ~**_


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